Growing up I always struggled with my weight. Being the fat kid was not very fun and left me with some internal traumas I had to work through and still do. One reason I always wanted to host people was because I wanted to be liked, by everyone. It got dramatically worse after high school because I was unmotivated and had no goals. I struggled with binge drinking and binge eating and this road led me to being extremely anxious to the point of physical symptoms. The anxiety had a hold of my life, and what felt like chains around my lungs. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I would have to force myself to yawn to be able to take a deep breathe (a sigh of relief). These symptoms carried on for 8ish months. I continued to struggle with the thought of "how long can I last if this is how my life is going to be?"